Introspection

Living not mere Surviving

2011-11-04T13:42:00.000-04:00

I was beginning to think I will not be able to pen anything happy in the blog again until I got married and started to live for a reason and not merely survive. Dileep helped (is still helping) me understand how important it is not to judge myself through someone else's eyes. He made discover a world full of possibilities and filled with positive energy. I found my place in a perfect(for me) world. Hope to keep blogging.

I want to live - with or with out you

2010-04-10T18:11:00.010-04:00

If it is possible I don’t want to feel this way

I want to enjoy your absence and ignore your presence

My words I want to keep and get a good night’s sleep

I want to get off this lane and fall-out of pain

My pillows, they know your name; they must think I am so lame

For they are never dry as I dig into them and cry

Wind brings your scent; birds sing your name

Every thought of you makes me insane

Walking through the rain; sending myself through pain

I think of you and fall in love again

If it is possible, I don’t want to feel this way

From this pain I want to get-away

On these lonely banks I no longer want to sit and wail

To a happy place I want to set sail

I want to live 'with or without you'

Inspired from U2's "with or without you" <--(click here to listen)

Photo credits Canon Power Shot SD 600

Sri Seshabhattar

10th April 2010

I will figure it out!

2010-03-24T17:18:00.006-04:00

I learned to be Alone, Never thought would be Lonely

I learned to stare at Darkness, Never thought would have to live in Dark

I learned to battle for Victory, Never had to fight to Lose

I learned to soak up my Tears, Never to run them down my Cheeks

I learned to control Hatred, Never had to curb Love

There is always a First Time

I will drown into an Ocean and learn to Float

I will Talk myself into learning Silence

I will learn to Lose a battle and Win a friend

I will learn to figure it out

I can and I will!

Nee Sneham lo, Velige vennelo, konnalaina santhoshamga gadichayanukona ....

Sri Seshabhattar

24^th March 2010

Fair Trial

2010-02-12T12:43:00.001-05:00

It is so amusing to me....
the choice you have made....
you had the power to screen me off your life....
and you chose it...
even the worst in the world get their turn....
to say something in return....
I never got my last words...

If I did something ....
for you throw me away...
to erase my memories ....
and you think I deserve punishment....
then....I demand...
I demand a trial ... a fair trial.....
you be the judge...
I will be the devil's advocate .....

Why today....
Why today you might ask...
It is today because ..
It didn't happen yesterday.... and it may not tomorrow....

Changing oneself

2010-01-31T18:31:00.001-05:00

Should we or should we not change ourselves for others...

Ideal answer: No, we should not...
Practical answer: Of course, why not?

But don't call it change.. call it 'adaptation' or 'mutation' and throw in words like 'survival of the fittest' and Bam! Not only you can change yourself but you also have a scientific theory to support your change.

Do not forget! ... You have to lose some to gain some!... Change yourself, adapt to the world, make yourself comfortable... and lose your 'identity'!

Random thoughts
Sri

31st January 2010

Hyderabad Meri Jaan

2009-11-15T06:36:00.004-05:00

Born elsewhere grew up in this city
Those days people had felicity
Lived here for Life
Love was prevalent then meagre was strife

Things certainly changed
Auto Rickshaws bother me so do Cars
High rise buildings are dense and trees became sparse
Idea of pollution both air and sound
driving on roads with dents and vehicles that mound
Fills me with fear paramount

When the flight hits the ground
Heart starts to pound
There is so much to Hyderabad
Than just the borders and buildings
I miss my city, I miss my Life
with my eyes filled with tears
As I land in my hometown the city of pearls
“Welcome home kid” every inch of it Cheers!!!

Missing Home
Mishri
15th November 2009

Picture Credits: Canon Powershot SD 600

Just one!

2009-11-15T05:53:00.012-05:00

Some people take time to mingle, make friends and finally open up to others..... You meet a person and think he is totally reserved, introverted, selfish, lame, egoist and the likes... but when you manage to stay friends with them long enough these caterpillars do turn into butterflies who make your world so much better....

I also met the other kind-very sweet and pleasant to begin with, but spoil all your relations, steal your friends and crumple your world to the best of their abilities...

Every single time I ask my friends "what they thought about me when they met me?" They all (well, most of them) say 'Happy go lucky', 'Fun to be with' or 'Fun gang'. What do they think of me now?'Happy go lucky', 'Fun to be with' or 'Fun gang'.

It doesn't really matter if someone knows me for a day, year or a decade, they think I am the same person they met!! Should this make me happy!? I don't know!

I have always read these books where the lead / anti -hero always had a character with the depth of an ocean and are very mystic.

I am beginning to think there is no such depth to my personality..... I am 100% 'Me' from the minute anyone meets me... There is no mysterious quality about me... I don't have this cool dimension or a different facet to my personality... I present myself as and will remain the exact same person always... How dull is that!

If ever I had to write an auto-biography or make a movie about my life, Here's how it would go:

"Hi, I am Sridevi, Nice to meet you, Let me know if you need something!"

What are you waiting for?... The show is over.. go home!!!

Curtains Down
Mishri
15th November 2009

Break!!

2009-10-26T00:13:00.002-04:00

Haven't seen any posts from me off late... just means.. I am busy writing a part of what could be my thesis in two years time ... or more...

Love
Mishri
26th October 2009

What is that

2009-10-08T01:18:00.001-04:00

A sparrow
A very heart touching video. Its all about respecting elders :)

Love
Mishri
8th October 2009

Ha ha

2009-10-06T21:45:00.000-04:00

I thought this was hilarious:

" If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married!!"

Dull!!

2009-09-29T23:20:00.003-04:00

Been feeling awfully dull and low off late. Missing India!!!

Positive Outlook

2009-09-24T11:36:00.000-04:00

Things are never as bad as they seem to begin with ....

Self learnings
Mishri
24th September 2009

Waiting for an accident

2009-09-21T04:54:00.009-04:00

Vidhi used to call me "Mapp" short for Most accident prone person.... She should see this!!!

ROFL!!!
Mishri
21st September 2009
Cartoon credits: http://4.bp.blogspot.com/

Quotes

2009-09-21T04:11:00.004-04:00

Just a quote that made my day

"Just when Caterpillar thought the world is over..... she turned into a butterfly"

and some more ... few of them inspired me a great deal and others taught me..... to simply forget and move on

Hard work never hurt anyone, but why take the chance :)

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor's book :D

There are good days and there are bad days, and this is one of them :P

Born to be wild - live to outgrow it :P

Life's more amusing than we thought :)

My mind tells me to give up but my heart won't let me :(

Where ever you go, Go with all your heart :)

Consciousness: that annoying time between naps X-(

The worst thing in the world is to try to sleep and not to X-(

There are many more.. these are some that I could recollect in five minutes

Sayings
Mishri
21st September 2009

Fragmentation in Life

2009-09-20T12:50:00.008-04:00

Fragmentation!

(Manish started a thread about the fragmentation of a person's time and mind, the difference in behavior at work and at home ...)

My view is no different.. Fragmentation is a beautiful way to explain life .... It doesn't always have to be between work and personal life.... Fragmentation is everywhere..

A man lies to his mother .. "Sorry Ma, can't see you this week, I am busy with a meeting.." he told his mother just because, his kid wanted to watch a movie that night...

Man is torn between his mother and son.. He has to live his life in pieces..He chose the Lion's share of affection for his son today, he wants him to be happy....

Kid hears the conversation and thinks.. "May be Daddy lied to me the other day.. when he did not make it to my piano recitals because of a meeting"

Who is happy now? His affection, attention, love and care .. every thing is divided..

The Question: Can we ever give undivided interest to anyone/ anything?

Ponders

Mishri

20th September 2009

Happy Birthday Daddy

2009-09-15T13:52:00.003-04:00

For all the times you are with us
For all the decisions you have taken for us
For every memory you have carved for us
We are grateful to you

Every daughter, every son look up to their father
They say this is what I will become some day
We did the same when we were young
But found a lot more in you as we grew
A friend, a confidant , a teacher to mention a few

Walking with us in the alleys dark and bright
You lead the way always towards the right
Doesn't matter if we are weak or might
You always say we should put up a fight

We wish you a Birthday filled with Love
Happiest memories yet many more to come
We sent out prayers to all the heavens above
Millions of stars be sent out today
To turn into true anything you say
Happy Birthday Daddy
Many Many Happy Returns of the Day

You mean the world to us

Love
Chinnu, Bujji
16th September 2009

Calling Bell

2009-09-15T01:37:00.010-04:00

Anu who was placed on hold by her mom shrugged and said...."What is more important? International Call or Local call?"

I am sure all my friends talking to India have had this experience at least once....I sighed deeply and said "Calling Bell"

Here's why:

My mom keeps me on hold... while I am on a international call... in order to talk to someone on the local line....

The icing on the cake though is after she is done with that call....(I was on hold for at least ten minutes by the way)..... she comes to the phone and says "Sweet heart I need to hang up your call, Someone is ringing the 'door bell' ( 'calling bell' as we call it in India....) Love you Honey!! "

Chuckles

Mishri

15th September 2009

Mishri

2009-09-14T22:49:00.004-04:00

A very Sweet (read sugar) nick name from a very dear friend...

I happened to call him 'Mr.' X in a certain conversation and he addressed as 'Miss.' Sri and from there came the name 'Mishri'

Mishri is 'Hindi' for Sugar-Candy or Rock Sugar :)

I am thinking I should use 'Mishri' as a pen name for my blog

Cheers
Mishri
14th September 2009
http://www.fotobank.ru/img/SF15-4916.jpg?size=l

Shirk off Divinity

2009-09-14T00:20:00.006-04:00

Heard real beautiful thoughts on divinity from someone today.. Did not want to lose the string of pearls.... So I am documenting them here...

God Says:
I am Divine, I realized it...
You are divine too, You haven't realized it ...

Thoughts:
Realizing we are divine would involve to a large extent shedding ego and assuming responsibility to the results of our actions. Can't do either, can we? It is always easy when someone else takes (at least we assume so) decisions for us and they can be conveniently blamed for our shortcomings and also for the consequences of our actions.

Thus the easiest way out is to 'Shirk off Divinity' that is well within you and blame HIM.

He will take it because He has patience but remember that He will not leave you till you learn the lessons even if it means teaching them the hard way.

Amused
Sri Seshabhattar
14th September 2009

Just a 'Self-Reminder'

2009-09-14T00:00:00.004-04:00

If we are experiencing a dull moment, How do we overcome it?

Bear with fortitude both loss and grief.
Try and search for plans to achieve joy and gain.
When you are invaded by anger, practice silence or remember the Name of the Lord. Do not remind yourself of things which will inflame the anger more; that will do incalculable harm.
For faults and sins committed in ignorance, repent sincerely.
Try not to repeat the faults and sins again.
Pray to God to bless you with the strength and the courage needed to stick to the right path.
From this moment, avoid all bad habits. Do not delay or postpone. They do not contribute to the slightest joy.

- Sandeha Nivarini

Just for Sri
Sri Seshabhattar
14th September 2009
http://www.deltakappagamma.org/GA-alphaalpha/reminder.gif

Enjoy the most !!!

2009-09-13T09:25:00.006-04:00

Cooking it is!!! I love to cook, it is my passion and it is the thing that I enjoy the most!!!

Smiles
Sri Seshabhattar
13th September 2009

Cutest Compliment Ever!!

2009-09-13T08:44:00.027-04:00

I had to work most part of the long weekend (labor day). But at the end it had its pay off. One of my very close friends came to Raleigh and visited me. She has this very sweetest kid on the planet, Suraj(6). He is in the first grade and all.

We went to the tour of NC Museum of Natural Science. Suraj was really excited.One thing that he did not like though was being photographed. Poor guy was fed up. He remembered names of all the states they drove through all the way from NJ and throughout the trip he was asked to stand, pose and smile. He did pose for my camera and said that he will let me take a picture but it has to be his natural pose :-p

When we were at the section with birds and animals, I pointed to a small bird and told him "it is an Owl". He goes around points to a big yellow-eyed Owl and asked me if it is the "Mamma Owl" :) It indeed was. I said "Suraj look at her eyes, Owls have extremely large eyes in proportion to the size of their heads. They have big wide eyes and an ability to see in the dark" click to enlarge

Suraj looked at me with a big smile and said "You have much bigger and wider eyes than that Owl" :)

Awwww.... that was the cutest thing anyone had ever said to me... there was my payoff :) (Assuming of course that Suraj did not mean ... I should be put in the museum instead of the bird)

Unless the music teacher who kicked me out of her class in 3rd grade comes back and admits that I am a good singer, I am going to mark this as the best compliment I have ever received!!

Cheers

Sri Seshabhattar

13th September 2009

(Owl photo credits: Bill Frymire)

It's all in the mind!!

2009-09-05T03:54:00.004-04:00

I wonder why I cannot drink water from any other faucet at home except the kitchen!!! Not even when I am parched!!!

Wonders
Sri Seshabhattar

PLEH.... Expecting 'HELP' in return

2009-09-05T03:08:00.031-04:00

Have you read 'Filboid Studge' by Saki?

We are Generation G, we have the google power. I have gotten used to using google for practically everything (so has everybody). Search any word and usually results begin with a link to the definition of the word in webster’s or meaning of the word from dictionary. Since google is of such great ‘help’ I googled the word ‘help’. Yeah, yeah... I am getting there, I am not totally jobless to sit and google the words and their meanings.

The result:‘Help’ is not people’s favorite word. Apparently, there is no definition for the word or meaning of the word - not until page three. People seem to have completely forgotten the term. You don't have to learn the word as it is not that important to help others anymore. The mantra of the day is “Make yourself little available to help others”.

There is this young, happy, extremely friendly couple in my neighborhood. Both the husband and wife go out of the way to help others. They offer to help you if you are stranded in a bus stop, if you have no money or don’t want to spend money for the cab but need to rush to the airport, if you have to get your nails done, call them, they are there! I often wondered if they expected anything in return for the favors they shower.

I spotted them in the parking lot of a departmental store and rushed toward them to wish them. As I came nearer to greet them I saw that their car had a flat tire, it was burst open. They were reluctant to call people for help. Wife said “Should we call .Ganesh.. umm.. No …he would still be at the office”.. then he said “ May be Aman, Naah… he has a baby boy, let him spend time with the kid” . They kept debating on whom not to call!! Amazing, I have not once thought like this!!

Coming back to the incident, the debate went on. They had done a lot of shopping and the stuff was not getting any lighter. Finally, they decide to call this person who (by the way has taken the maximum advantage of their car) would probably be free. Getting stuck with a broken car did not seem to him as important as his colleague’s farewell party. So they call this girl whom they helped when she first moved in, She said “I am sorry, I am at work”. One person finally did agree to pick them up (Thank God!) They had to wait a good one hour before he picked them up. Not that they could not afford a cab or anything, but the couple were really generous to all these folks. They helped them buy cars of their own. I don't see why it is so difficult to return a favor.

I biked back home. I couldn’t stay there for long. I felt really heavy in my heart. I don’t know if ‘they’ felt the same way when nobody is ready to help them in return. I don’t have a car to help them. I can’t say I would be at their peck and call but would have not left them that way.

I really got mad at them ‘non-helpers’. They have abused the couple for so long. They should have been more considerate. Do you see it the same way or is it just me?

That evening left me thinking: “Can we expect anything in return of our good deeds and help to others?” More importantly, “Should we?” At that instant I remembered Filboid Studge. I guess expecting 'HELP' in return is just as meaningless as the word 'PLEH'

Wonders!!
Sri Seshabhattar
5th September 2009

Doodly Doodlee Dooo...

2009-09-03T19:51:00.003-04:00

I was bored to death in a class today... result ...another doodle (read Mehndi Design) .. not bad...

these classes bring out a creative side of my brain :)

Cheers

Sri Seshabhattar

3rd September 2009

What is a good day?

2009-08-31T17:14:00.004-04:00

My mother believes in starting new ventures on a "Good day". She will consult the calendar and come up with a great muhurat (auspicious moments) to do stuff. This really makes me wonder.. what is a good day, really?

If good things happen on good days.. i wonder "why were all my tests were set on inauspicious days..?" for e.g. I gave my engineering entrance on a New Moon day(amavasya). regarded as the worst day (in my tradition) for anything..First day of classes this semester started on a New moon day .. and to top it off my class was during the worst hours within that day (yamagandam). I am doing okay in spite of that ... so why be so hung up on a so called "good day"

I won't call it a stupid superstition .. but it is one amongst many things that I cannot comprehend...!!!

Cheers

Sridevi Seshabhattar

31st August 2009

What do we do?

2009-08-30T12:22:00.015-04:00

I went grocery shopping today. I saw someone I was good friends with.

I don't remember fighting or arguing with her but cannot recollect why we stopped talking. I didn't really know how to react.

What should we do at such times?

I wanted to smile at her and probably wish her. I should have waved at her because clearly there were no bad feelings. I think she is a wonderful person. Maybe I will do that next time when I bump into her again

Cheers
Sri Seshabhattar
30th August 2009

Jhakas writer kosam.. just oka one liner...

2009-08-29T01:22:00.003-04:00

చల్లటి గాలి తెమ్మెరలు ఆ వంశి మొహనుడి మురళిని స్పృశించి వెచ్చటి ప్రణయ గీతికలైనాయట .... విడి పొడి తెలుగు అక్షరాలు ఈ వంశి కృష్ణుడి కలంనుండి కవితల మాలలై జాలు వారుతున్నాయట...

Just a one liner dedicated to my senior Vamsi Anna ...

Cheers

Sri Seshabhattar

29th August 2009
(11th March 2009)

No No...

2009-08-29T00:53:00.008-04:00

I am not much of dreamer..... I am positive but don't keep my hopes up on anything... off late I have this dream... I wish it would come true...i know there are too many hassles on the way... But I want to try...

I guess I am ready to go down that road !!! :)

No ... No... I don't want get my hopes too high ...

Cheers

Sri Seshabhattar

29th August 2009

http://funnypicturejokes.blogspot.com/

A brief hiatus

2009-08-23T09:38:00.002-04:00

Had given a six month pause to my blog as a tribute to my grand pa...

Ashrutanjali

2009-03-25T21:55:00.008-04:00

Sriman. Venkata Lakshmi Narsimhacharyulu Seshabhattar

Please Tatagaru(Grand pa) ... Please give me the book... I won't tear it I promise.... I was behind my grand pa to give me a small book with verses from 'Bhagawad Gita' ...

He however rejected my plea and wrote down a single verse in his beautiful handwriting and handed it over to me.. that was my lesson for the day... He was afraid I will tear the book to pieces if gave the entire book to me... It made me mad.. He did not believe me....

But today, God knows, I can do anything for him to write a line for me... Please Grand Pa ... Please come back to me .. I promise I will never ask you for the book...

Everybody touched your feet and bade you good bye... You sent me off so far, I can only cry...

I miss you a lot Tatagaru and I love you...

With tonnes of Hugs and Kisses
Sridevi Seshabhattar
22nd March 2009

Vaaaaaaiooooooo!!!

2009-03-14T00:12:00.003-04:00

Finally... Got my Laptop!! Sleek, Black beauty... Pics coming soon...

Hair (Locks) of Love

2009-02-25T12:18:00.009-05:00

For the most part of my life I have been told how beautiful my hair (was) is. It was silky and straight as an arrow. I was proud of my hair although I did not have to do much to grow it.

I recently got a perm done on my hair to make it wavy(I did not know she was perming it, I swear, I wanted to style it just for the evening) as I was getting bored of having straight hair forever. Too late, its luster is all gone and my hair is neither silky nor wavy. I have been planning to cut it off as short as I can. I know, my parents/ friends would oppose that. But, well I wanted the new (hopefully better) hair to grow.

I vaguely remembered that we can donate hair. If I am going to cut off at least 6" I might as well donate it. I started looking through hair donation websites. They need at least 8" to donate hair to adults and about 10 -12" for kids. Pantene Beautiful lengths is the only organization that makes wigs for adult women and also is pretty relaxed about the rules on Grey hair etc.

I decided to donate to the kids. The donation to the kids has to be free of Grey hair. So I can donate to adults all life long. I measured my hair and it is about 8 - 9" long. I decided to call off my hair cut for a month or two and let the hair grow. And also I promised myself to take good care of it. If it is helping a kid boost her confidence I will make sure I do my part. If anyone has any good ideas / tips about hair care and conditioning please pass them to me.

The reason I am posting this on my blog is, I read that it takes 6 pony tails to make one wig. So if any one is interested in donating hair. We could do it together and help one kid.

There are lots of websites on the net that talk about the donation process. Choose the one you like and help a kid wears your lovely locks.

Cheers
Sridevi Seshabhattar
11th March 2009

Egg-Jams...

2009-02-19T20:47:00.017-05:00

Tests, Assignments, Term papers, Presentations...

I submitted my Take Home Quiz today... yay!!... Phew...

Suddenly a thought crossed my mind, second month into my PhD and I already had written two exams and submitted an assignment... Wow!

Through out the day we had group meetings, meeting with a gas cylinder guy, meeting with hazardous waste guy, meeting for BIMBO, I actually ate at my 'desk' since I did not have time to get out of the office. But the thought about the number of exams was killing me. The minute I got a breather I ran to my desk and sat down with a calculator.

I began making a rough estimate of number of Exams I have written so far, including the assignments, term papers and meaningless presentations. Brace yourself the number is a whopping 591. Yes, indeed!!! It averages to 1.82 exams per month of my life up until now.

I cannot help but remember all my classmates from school and college who went through the same trauma.

Kudos guys, WE DID IT!!! Err...wait a minute... YOU did it!!!...

I still have a long way to go... I guess I will slightly fall shy of a "million" tests once I graduate and become “Dr. Sri Seshabhattar” : ) ;)

Hopefully all the pain will look worthwhile then...

Cheers
Sri, 19th February 2009

P.S: I draw all the cartoons on my blog on a Wacom Bamboo Fun Tablet. Ideas for some of the cartoons are my own and so are inspired from others work.

I Knew Her...

2009-02-16T22:21:00.023-05:00

I know Her...
She is my idol
She was inquiring if I was studying well
She was on cloud nine to know I got an admit into PhD
She was scared I was alone
She was supportive about my decision
She was contended with my grades in MS
She was pestering me to study
She was calling me to tell me she emailed me
She was unhappy when I left Her and India
She was confident that I would get my visa
She was ecstatic when I got my admit to NC state

She was elated with my MBA
She was persuasive about my higher studies
She was with me when I was stuck in a mess
She was happy I changed my job
She was worried about my hours at work
She was jumping with joy on my first job
She was really pissed off with my studies
She was putting up with my anger
She was beside me when they gave me shots
She was drained off energy from serving me at the hospital
She was dispirited with my jaundice
She was apprehensive about my major
She was cool with my engineering admit

She was behind me to study
She was putting up with my adolescence
She was convinced I have stuff
She was celebrating my success
She was delighted when I finished High School
She was exuberant when I passed Social Studies
She was reading the textbook aloud while I was fast asleep
She was concerned I will not pass
She was troubled with my Social Studies course

She was taking care of me
She was crying I met with an accident
She was getting me ready to school
She was beating me because my clothes were dirty
She was plaiting my hair

She was feeding me
She heard me cry
She was relieved I don’t
She was going around the hospital
She was worried I had crooked feet
She was beaming with happiness
She was looking into my eyes

She was holding me for the first time
I was New to her... But
I knew Her...
She was my idol

-Sridevi Seshabhattar, 17th February 2009

Happy Birthday Mummy
Many Many Happy Returns of the Day
read from bottom to top :)

Some amateur stuff

2009-02-13T08:47:00.011-05:00

Green Spiral - Organic nature of Nature

First art of everyone in the world, hut, sun and grass..
Missing a lake though....

Sony Vaio...Fresh Start...

2009-02-12T10:22:00.004-05:00

Sigh...

I was happy on the first day of my PhD; I knew I was going to have a fresh start and things will be different ... I will have a new laptop...(?!)

My office in MS had computers that were at least ten years old with windows 98 that either crashed or ran like it crawled. Oh! By the way did I mention that four of us used to share two computers and two inoperable ones and a couple of undergrads also used them once in a while.

So ever since my PhD advisor spoke to me about a laptop I started dreaming jumping up and down about my ground – breaking research on a new laptop (probably a tablet).

Hmm...Well, as you all have already guessed it looks like my dreams will remain dreams for a long time. I am guessing there is a conspiracy at a very high level.

Conspiracy theory:
• Why was the configuration not approved by the purchases even though my adviser gave a nod?
• Once approved why was the order not placed immediately?
• Why did Intel choose to cease the production and pull out the processors from the market? (Had to wait for the new ones to arrive)
• Why does the guy who places the order not answer anyone’s calls or emails?

Things really are different... I at least had a shared desktop with 10 GB memory and Windows 98....

Boy! I really am off to a Fresh Start... Sigh...
Cartoon: www1.istockphoto.com

It will be 'all right'

2009-02-10T12:33:00.000-05:00

I Hope...

It will be 'all right'

This is one of my favorite sayings. The phrase comes in handy while coaching anyone in trouble. It gives hope of a future time when the current problem is dead and gone.

Any situation in the past that made you feel terrible will no longer have the same influence in you today. It is the temporary nature of problem that has to be borne in mind rather than making them permanent.

When stranded in a problem, focus completely shifts to problem rather than the bigger picture. When you tell yourself “It will be all right” the attention will be diverted to a future time where the problem is solved.

The old saying "down the road we will laugh about this" applies. Instead of waiting until a later time, laugh about it now. Tell yourself that no matter what is occurring, it will be all right. Practice faith in this statement in all that you do.

An ounce of hope can turn around any hopeless situation.

Remember this when you feel circumstances in your life are getting you down.

It will be 'all right'

Just By Chance...

2009-02-04T20:33:00.001-05:00

Only two things matter the most to me

Have I taken a chance / risk, whether calculated or otherwise, and put my best foot forward while taking up tasks?

Did I give a chance for someone to explain themselves before I judge them for their actions?

While the answer to the first question was not "Yes" at all times, the answer to the latter has become affirmative with conscious effort.

Deal with the faults of others as gently as with your own

It is highly important to step into others shoes for two reasons. It gives us a chance to realize that we would have been a terrible misfit in that situation and probably would have acted worse than the person in consideration. Secondly, and most importantly it saves the disgrace of break up or separation in many relation ships which eventually leads to peaceful coexistence.

MS, PhD and Blah....

2009-01-29T21:35:00.000-05:00

Graduate Student Life!

Tough, frugal and full of obstacles. Research, Thesis and Dissertation win accolades for best negative roles. We are all suffering but some enjoy the process. What makes the difference? Knowing the Do’s and Don’ts of Research Life.

Be a self-starter:

I recently got a present from my advisor

“A PhD is not enough” - Peter J. Fibelman
http://home.flash.net/~pjfeibe/a_phd_is_not_enough.htm

The book is about survival in the scientific field after getting a degree. The gesture that some one cares for my degree and career made me really happy. Well, we are not always lucky to find such advisors. Some of us had bitter experiences too. I have learnt from my experience.

Learnt that one should not wait for an external force or event to change ones status. If you don't have a pushing advisor, you'll end up finding yourself drifting around purposelessly for years. So it's better to tell your advisor that what you want to do next rather than always waiting for your advisor telling you what you should.

Focus:
Often he who does too much does too little

Try not to conquer the world with a single research topic. Narrow down the topic to one aspect that is distinct enough and you can really work with it. Research is not research until you have focused it around a solid research question that addresses a problem or issue.

Work hard:
All the so-called "secrets of success" will not work unless you do

Every PhD student knows that it's better to make steady progress in research. Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there. Organize yours tasks and take up one at a time. Once you start a task get it done enough to ignore it for a while so that you don’t have to switch between tasks too often.

Get out early:
Time stays long enough for anyone who will use it

Often we are caught up in a vicious circle that we end up doing nothing productive during the day and stay up late in the night. This will make us even much less productive the next day. If you are in such a circle, jump out right now and reset.

Question yourself, be your boss:
Some one once told me “Don’t ask a PhD student how his/ her research is going; just like not asking a girl about her age or weight.”

But maybe it's a good strategy to ask yourself such a question now and then "how's your research going?"

Do not choose to wait until the day before the meet with advisor and work overnight to get some stuff done so as to prevent from having nothing to say during the meeting. What's funny is sometimes your advisor is too busy picking some one from the airport or giving a talk at a conference. He has no track of your research progress and is unconscious of your getting nowhere. This gives you reason to drift around another week.

But probably besides your advisor, you also need to report to yourself if you consider yourself as your boss. Just breaking all major tasks into smaller ones. Make a list to do each day and check them off as you complete them.

Do not feel frustrated:
To be conscious that you are ignorant is a great step to knowledge

Don't feel depressed when you find yourself more and more ignorant. Talk about your frustrations with peers or senior graduate students, and don't let academic frustrations take control of your whole life.

And last but not least when things go downhill and frustration never seems to end~

Keep in mind that there is life outside your department and most people have never even heard of what you are studying ☺

Choice

2008-12-10T22:57:00.001-05:00

Next week there is party at my Friend's place (actually Ex- Friend's place) Every one has just Ex- Spouses and Ex- Boy/ Girl friends, I have a bunch of Ex - Friends (People with whom I was inseparable at a point of time and they don't even look at me now). A tonne of my other Ex- Friends are on the invitee list (and no points for guessing that I am not).

Why do they hate me now? ... A very good question.. because I am not a good friend. I make friends in the spur of a moment, be as nice as I can to each and every one of them.. and some how manage to screw up ... So they all hate me now...

In spite of being really warm, caring, affectionate and friendly (adjectives with which I am addressed all the time ).. I mess up somewhere.. I manage to gain everyone's hatred... sometimes with my words and sometimes with my deeds...

The worst thing in my Life so far, 'Choice'. People should never be allowed to choose. Only when you get to choose, you have a bad choice and a good choice, a bad road and a good road... Whenever I was at a road with fork, I made a wrong choice.

A person's profession , field of study, love and Friends, especially Friends.. there should be no choice for any of these... You should have only one and you should stick to it/ them.

Because there is nothing called choosing friends wisely. Can we do that? Can we assess the other person, have a fixed amount of expectation, give only a fixed amount of affection, barter emotions one on one basis ? Can friendships be made so consciously that you have no fear or doubt of separation?

Perhaps, that is why the bond between parents and children is so strong and inseparable, because neither of them have a choice. They are bound to be together. Rest of the bonds are so superficial, it is as though they cannot wait to break.

After making a bunch of mistakes, we are expected to learn and grow. I haven't.
I still don't make wise choices, I make friends in a minute, will become a good part of their life and screw it up in the end.

If only I had no choice and had just one friend who would understand me and be with me in spite of me messing up all the time .... If only I had no choice but to be with him in spite of my stupidity and his foolishness ...

I would not have felt so lonely ...